Napalm Heart
2005-03-04 19:36:45 UTC
US gets to outlaw Dildos ...
Never Mind ! You can buy a Weapon.
Bu$hies are Still Allowing the Sale of .50 Caliber
Sniper Rifles to Just About Anyone, Even Though
They Can Shoot Down a Plane Landing or Taking Off.
Isn't it great !!!
http://www.50caliberterror.com
http://releases.usnewswire.com/GetRelease.asp?id=43680
http://www.suntimes.com/output/terror/cst-nws-light01.html
http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2005/03/04/notes030405.DTL&nl=fNever Mind ! You can buy a Weapon.
Bu$hies are Still Allowing the Sale of .50 Caliber
Sniper Rifles to Just About Anyone, Even Though
They Can Shoot Down a Plane Landing or Taking Off.
Isn't it great !!!
http://www.50caliberterror.com
http://releases.usnewswire.com/GetRelease.asp?id=43680
http://www.suntimes.com/output/terror/cst-nws-light01.html
ix
Friday 4 March 2005 By Mark Morford, San Francisco Gate
Columnist
Sweet Home, Alabama Dildos
Yet another state gets to outlaw "genital stimulating
devices", as God just rolls her eyes.
I cannot imagine not being able to walk into a nice
clean well-lit store staffed by friendly funky
well-informed employees with interesting haircuts
and walk out with an armful of friendly dildos.
I cannot imagine not being able to walk right in on
any given Christian Sunday to Good Vibrations (1)
here in the City (or Toys in Babeland (2) in Seattle
or the Hustler store in LA or any number of other
such clean 'n' decent 'n' prurient storefronts around
the land) and stock up on sex lotions and potions
and gadgets and gizmos on a whim, on a second date,
on a weekend, before Valentine's Day, on Easter, on
Christmas, just for the hell of it or because the SO
winkingly suggested it or the giddy carnal urges
demanded it or because I needed to buy sexy birthday
gifts or just because my supplies were running low
and I have yet to install that in-bedroom three-gallon
Astroglide wall pump.
I cannot, in other words, imagine living in Alabama.
Or Texas. Or Louisiana. Or Georgia. Or Tennessee.
Or in any of the handful of terrified and morally
convulsive states where they prohibit such activities,
where the selling of "genital stimulating devices"
is outright illegal and deeply dreaded.
And stores that sell such nightmare devices are
declared a threat to the community and a hazard
to the soul and a sure sign of the devil and if you
are caught selling a vibrator or using a dildo you
could get 10 years in prison and/or be condemned
to live in Alabama for the rest of your life.
Alabama. Illegal dildos. In the spotlight recently,
as the US Supreme Court just declined to review
the constitutionality of the state's law (3) banning
the sale of such naughty and phallically radiant toys.
Did you see the story ? Did it make you cringe and
sigh and reach for the Hitachi Magic Wand ?
Oh, it is fun to laugh. It is fun to mock and point and
say, aww, how cute, those lost and weird and backass
Southern states where most people are just trying
to live noble upstanding honest lives but where they
still insist on putting stickers on biology textbooks
to warn of the "dangers" of the theory of evolution.
Places where raw honest sexuality is a foreign
language and homosexuality is considered a disease
and where they lovingly allow sales of Viagra and
Cialis and where they inject vats of Prozac and
Xanax into their bodies alongside truckloads of
deep-fried obesity-happy everything, but the thought
of someone using a sex toy to please herself or
her lover and to add to the overall positive orgasmic
vibe of the planet is considered on par, legally
speaking, with pedophilia, or burglary, or being
from France.
And it's nice to think that, with the exception of
a handful of sexless lawmakers and deeply
repressed religious leaders who apparently
possess genitalia so shriveled and sad not even
their favorite Thai prostitutes can revive it,
the vast majority of Americans scoff at this sort
of law, sigh and shake their heads and move on.
Yes, even those who live in Alabama, or in Texas
(certainly in Austin, which mostly sort of pretends
it's just visiting Texas and doesn't actually live there).
And sure, furthermore, you might argue that this
is what makes America great, yes ? Diversity.
Diversity of opinion and diversity of education
and diversity of sexual understanding, one
educated progressive open-minded sexually
open side understanding that sex is the divine
nectar that makes the human flower moan and
smile and bloom, and the other sneering and
scoffing side merely shuddering and convulsing
at the very sight of the naked human form,
and not in a good way.
Call it dramatic tension, healthy debate, a fascinating
slice of human drama. Always good for America, right ?
Wrong. This isn't what makes America great.
Alabama's isn't the type of tremulous sexual dread
and religious puling that makes us a stronger and
more unique and exciting and fascinating country
in which to live and loathe and pilot our SUVs
through the mud puddles and over the playgrounds
and into other cars.
This dildo thing, and the mind-set it represents,
it is the type of thing that makes us small, keeps
us lost, confused, torn; it's emblematic of what
holds us back from true progress and heat and joy.
It is, in short, what makes us silly and actually
quite pathetic in the eyes of a wild and deeply
sensual and body-glittered ambisexual God.
And moreover, as the last deeply disturbing
election proved, we on the dildo-happy side
of the fence must be very, very wary, on alert,
keenly observant of these rigid and dangerous
little laws and of these genital-free religious
leaders, as Alabama's is the mind-set that put Bush
in office and these are the voting blocs that keep
noxious abstinence programs (4) alive in public
schools and this is the viewpoint that buys 20
million copies of the Left Behind (5) series of
silly apocalyptica, all hoping for the End of the
World real soon now so why not abuse the planet
as we damn well please and wait for the Rapture,
uptight and righteous and dildo free.
I know, I know. Relax. It's just dildos. It's just
some silly sex toys and some silly laws in some
silly small-minded states no one of any salacious
awareness or cosmic curiosity really pays any
attention to. Let them have their sad little mind-set.
After all, it keeps them occupied, keeps them from
getting into any serious trouble. The rest of us will
merely have to double our orgasmic output to
compensate for the black goo they insist on pumping
into the universe. Yes. I know this.
But then again, we are still in a world where
brutal, undeclared war is considered noble and
the human female nipple is considered traumatizing
to children, and the pope, mustering one of his last
wheezing, homophobic breaths, declares gay
marriage to be part of the "ideology of evil" (6),
and millions believe him, especially the BushCo Right,
especially those evangelicals who, for some sad
reason, now hold the reins.
So then. They're not just dildos, baby. They're a flag
of righteousness. They're an emblem of all ..............
http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2005/03/04/notes030405.DTL&nl=fFriday 4 March 2005 By Mark Morford, San Francisco Gate
Columnist
Sweet Home, Alabama Dildos
Yet another state gets to outlaw "genital stimulating
devices", as God just rolls her eyes.
I cannot imagine not being able to walk into a nice
clean well-lit store staffed by friendly funky
well-informed employees with interesting haircuts
and walk out with an armful of friendly dildos.
I cannot imagine not being able to walk right in on
any given Christian Sunday to Good Vibrations (1)
here in the City (or Toys in Babeland (2) in Seattle
or the Hustler store in LA or any number of other
such clean 'n' decent 'n' prurient storefronts around
the land) and stock up on sex lotions and potions
and gadgets and gizmos on a whim, on a second date,
on a weekend, before Valentine's Day, on Easter, on
Christmas, just for the hell of it or because the SO
winkingly suggested it or the giddy carnal urges
demanded it or because I needed to buy sexy birthday
gifts or just because my supplies were running low
and I have yet to install that in-bedroom three-gallon
Astroglide wall pump.
I cannot, in other words, imagine living in Alabama.
Or Texas. Or Louisiana. Or Georgia. Or Tennessee.
Or in any of the handful of terrified and morally
convulsive states where they prohibit such activities,
where the selling of "genital stimulating devices"
is outright illegal and deeply dreaded.
And stores that sell such nightmare devices are
declared a threat to the community and a hazard
to the soul and a sure sign of the devil and if you
are caught selling a vibrator or using a dildo you
could get 10 years in prison and/or be condemned
to live in Alabama for the rest of your life.
Alabama. Illegal dildos. In the spotlight recently,
as the US Supreme Court just declined to review
the constitutionality of the state's law (3) banning
the sale of such naughty and phallically radiant toys.
Did you see the story ? Did it make you cringe and
sigh and reach for the Hitachi Magic Wand ?
Oh, it is fun to laugh. It is fun to mock and point and
say, aww, how cute, those lost and weird and backass
Southern states where most people are just trying
to live noble upstanding honest lives but where they
still insist on putting stickers on biology textbooks
to warn of the "dangers" of the theory of evolution.
Places where raw honest sexuality is a foreign
language and homosexuality is considered a disease
and where they lovingly allow sales of Viagra and
Cialis and where they inject vats of Prozac and
Xanax into their bodies alongside truckloads of
deep-fried obesity-happy everything, but the thought
of someone using a sex toy to please herself or
her lover and to add to the overall positive orgasmic
vibe of the planet is considered on par, legally
speaking, with pedophilia, or burglary, or being
from France.
And it's nice to think that, with the exception of
a handful of sexless lawmakers and deeply
repressed religious leaders who apparently
possess genitalia so shriveled and sad not even
their favorite Thai prostitutes can revive it,
the vast majority of Americans scoff at this sort
of law, sigh and shake their heads and move on.
Yes, even those who live in Alabama, or in Texas
(certainly in Austin, which mostly sort of pretends
it's just visiting Texas and doesn't actually live there).
And sure, furthermore, you might argue that this
is what makes America great, yes ? Diversity.
Diversity of opinion and diversity of education
and diversity of sexual understanding, one
educated progressive open-minded sexually
open side understanding that sex is the divine
nectar that makes the human flower moan and
smile and bloom, and the other sneering and
scoffing side merely shuddering and convulsing
at the very sight of the naked human form,
and not in a good way.
Call it dramatic tension, healthy debate, a fascinating
slice of human drama. Always good for America, right ?
Wrong. This isn't what makes America great.
Alabama's isn't the type of tremulous sexual dread
and religious puling that makes us a stronger and
more unique and exciting and fascinating country
in which to live and loathe and pilot our SUVs
through the mud puddles and over the playgrounds
and into other cars.
This dildo thing, and the mind-set it represents,
it is the type of thing that makes us small, keeps
us lost, confused, torn; it's emblematic of what
holds us back from true progress and heat and joy.
It is, in short, what makes us silly and actually
quite pathetic in the eyes of a wild and deeply
sensual and body-glittered ambisexual God.
And moreover, as the last deeply disturbing
election proved, we on the dildo-happy side
of the fence must be very, very wary, on alert,
keenly observant of these rigid and dangerous
little laws and of these genital-free religious
leaders, as Alabama's is the mind-set that put Bush
in office and these are the voting blocs that keep
noxious abstinence programs (4) alive in public
schools and this is the viewpoint that buys 20
million copies of the Left Behind (5) series of
silly apocalyptica, all hoping for the End of the
World real soon now so why not abuse the planet
as we damn well please and wait for the Rapture,
uptight and righteous and dildo free.
I know, I know. Relax. It's just dildos. It's just
some silly sex toys and some silly laws in some
silly small-minded states no one of any salacious
awareness or cosmic curiosity really pays any
attention to. Let them have their sad little mind-set.
After all, it keeps them occupied, keeps them from
getting into any serious trouble. The rest of us will
merely have to double our orgasmic output to
compensate for the black goo they insist on pumping
into the universe. Yes. I know this.
But then again, we are still in a world where
brutal, undeclared war is considered noble and
the human female nipple is considered traumatizing
to children, and the pope, mustering one of his last
wheezing, homophobic breaths, declares gay
marriage to be part of the "ideology of evil" (6),
and millions believe him, especially the BushCo Right,
especially those evangelicals who, for some sad
reason, now hold the reins.
So then. They're not just dildos, baby. They're a flag
of righteousness. They're an emblem of all ..............
ix
1) Your go-to spot for sex toys, sex education, erotic
and informative books, adult videos and more
http://goodvibes.com
2) Toys in Babeland is a sex toy store run by women
whose mission is to promote and celebrate sexual
vitality by providing an honest, open and fun
environment
http://www.babeland.com
3) The Supreme Court declined Tuesday to review
the constitutionality of a state law banning the sale
of sex toys, rejecting an appeal that said consumers
have a right to sexual privacy.
http://www.usatoday.com/news/washington/2005-02-22-toys_x.htm?csp=34
4) Sex And The Disgruntled Teen : More proof that
*not* having sex is sad and dangerous -- even in Texas.
http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/gate/archive/2005/02/25/notes0221) Your go-to spot for sex toys, sex education, erotic
and informative books, adult videos and more
http://goodvibes.com
2) Toys in Babeland is a sex toy store run by women
whose mission is to promote and celebrate sexual
vitality by providing an honest, open and fun
environment
http://www.babeland.com
3) The Supreme Court declined Tuesday to review
the constitutionality of a state law banning the sale
of sex toys, rejecting an appeal that said consumers
have a right to sexual privacy.
http://www.usatoday.com/news/washington/2005-02-22-toys_x.htm?csp=34
4) Sex And The Disgruntled Teen : More proof that
*not* having sex is sad and dangerous -- even in Texas.
505.DTL
5) The Rising Evil Unveiled Today ! The countdown
http://www.leftbehind.com
6) Homosexual marriages are part of "a new ideology of evil"
Pope John Paul says in his newly published book
http://www.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/europe/02/23/pope.book.reut
Off your meds?5) The Rising Evil Unveiled Today ! The countdown
http://www.leftbehind.com
6) Homosexual marriages are part of "a new ideology of evil"
Pope John Paul says in his newly published book
http://www.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/europe/02/23/pope.book.reut